disliking things

song of the moment-- whatever piano piece is playing in 'elephant' at the moment.
mood-- bleah. don't know. a bad one.

jesus, i really dislike facebook. i was really happy when i quit for a while, but for some reason i decided to go back.
you know, it's been less than a week and i've already had anxiety fits about this shit? some might call it being histrionic. i call it being me. i'd like something solid to depend on at this point. anything i can stick with and not leave behind because it troubes me. a person, a hobby, i don't know what...
i've been trying to make more friends, but they go out of their way to burn me for some unknown reason. it gives me an inferiority complex that i really dislike.

i used to have a person to depend on, but they kind of left. and i know it wasn't their fault, because things happen, and i have to get used to that.
are friends supposed to be hard? is it supposed to be difficult to make friends, and then when you have them, is it difficult to keep them, or maintain any affection for them, when these are just people who are outright high-lighting your flaws and then taking them away, just to shove them in your face when they want something? it worries me.
is it this hard for everyone? to keep up with things and not feel let down by circumstances, natural or otherwise?

at least it's snowing, which it hasn't done in these parts of virginia in a while. i guess that's nice. i went sledding, and took pictures, which my computer found corrupt and froze for.
i know it's a small thing, but it almost ruins the snow, which is melting anyway. apathy? i really hope not. sadness would be even worse, though.

but,
i know i sound like a whiny little cunt, but at this point i don't mind. being clich´isn't the worst thing i have to worry about at this point.
three more years?

-bb